My journey from talking about traveling the world to booking the flights.

For those of you in the corporate world, you’re likely familiar with the terms mission statement, company values, long term strategies and annual objectives. In theory, these are your guiding principles, defining your purpose and direction. Within companies, we use these tools regularly, but when it comes to our families, we tend to shy away from this formal approach. Why not use this same approach to make sure you and your family get the most out of life?

When my husband broached the subject of actually taking the family gap year, a subject we discussed occasionally on date nights after a few drinks, my first thought was to shut it down and quick. We had ‘travel for a year’ listed on our 5 year plan, that as it turned out, was already 5 years old.  It felt like something to dream about, not seriously contemplate. My inner critic painted a bleak picture of what traveling for a year with kids would be like. Our kids were only 4 and 7 years old, not 7 and 10 as I envisioned. We wouldn’t be able to ship the kids off to school 40 hours a week. I would have to pause my coaching business due to frequent time zones changes and undependable Wi-Fi. These were just a few of the top contenders. I combated my fears by focusing on my values.  The end result was purchasing airline tickets for 4 to travel around the world. Here are my tips on how to go from dreaming to doing. It includes setting your family vision and thinking about your values in order to identify all the things that you wish for your family. This is one approach you can use to guarantee that when you look back on your life, you’ll feel you really lived.

1. Allow yourself to dream. Most people pride themselves on doing what they say they are going to do. While this approach can be effective in life, it can get in the way when it comes to dreaming. If this applies to you, toss it. I allowed myself the liberty to say things out loud, without losing face if I didn’t do them. In doing so, I was able to create possible versions of my life to grow into. Once you’ve nailed that picture down and why it’s important to you, you will have created your destination. The likelihood of creating a map to get there then becomes a possibility. What vision would you have for yourself and for your family if there were no limitations?

2. Know your values. My husband and I created a list of family values after discussing what was most important to us. Our family values live on our kitchen wall; I look at them often to confirm that I’m heading in the right direction. With these values serving as our north star, it was easy to come up with a list of goals for the future. When fear surfaced about moving forward with our goal of a family gap year, I looked to the wall. Use money to do things, rather than buy things. Check. Travel the world and have adventures. Check. See new places and cultures and experience new things. Check. These values gave me the motivation and inspiration to push past my fears. What are your top family values?

3. Take time to think. With all the demands of today’s world, if you’re like most of us, you find yourself overwhelmed and busy with no idea where you’re going. If you wish to take control of where you’re heading, figure out where you are and where you want to go. Once that’s clear, all that remains is doing the work. How might you connect the dots between your family values and your family goals?

4. Create a plan. This is where the fun lies. Identify the steps needed to make your dreams a reality. Create short-term and long-term plans to get you there and check in periodically on how you’re doing.  We have a 1 year, 2 year and 5 year family plan. It doesn’t need to be elaborate; a napkin with a few ideas written on it will do the trick too. Since we move around a lot and are a cross-cultural couple, we have things like teaching the kids to ride a bike, celebrating the American and British holidays, and staying in touch with friends and family on our lists. These plans also include things that we as individuals want to accomplish. Do you need to create a budget, save a certain amount of money, improve a particular skill or take a certain job to get started on making that dream become a reality? Whatever it is you feel needs to be done, break it down into small, bite-sized steps so as not to feel overwhelmed. What are the short-term and long-term steps you need to take to realize your dreams?

5. Periodically check in and recalculate. Incorporate regular reflection points to evaluate where you are in the process and refine your goals. When my husband and I first spoke about the gap year, we left it undefined. When we started talking about which countries we would travel to, the prospect didn’t excite me. How was that different than what we were already doing by living abroad? When we continued exploring and came up with a plan that included traveling the world, neither my husband nor I could contain our excitement, confirming we were back on track. As you start moving forward with your plan remember to check in with yourself and recalculate if you need to. How might you want to modify, tweak or refine your goals or your plan?

6. Use your fears to your advantage. In life, we typically steer our boat towards a specific destination. When we decide we want to enter in new coordinates, fears naturally begin to surface. We all have an inner critic that tries to protect us when we stretch ourselves. Listen for your inner critic and if she’s telling you things that are unhelpful, write it down. Then you can figure out how to combat it. In my case, it was easy to come up with the lofty goal of taking a family gap year. Only when it presented itself as a reality, did my inner critic start talking, convincing me to keep playing small. When I put words to what she was saying, I then asked myself if it was fact or fiction. Once it was clear her words were baseless, I was able to remove the obstacle (read: myself) and start moving forward. What are your fears and how might you move past them?

7. Communicate. The only constant thing in life is change. As you grow, the things you want to achieve will change as well. When this occurs, be sure to communicate this to all the players involved in your dream. Often times our inner critic will convince us that things are either black or white, that we either go for it or quit, hoping we’ll chose the latter. Life exists in many colors. If you feel something isn’t right, talk about it with your family and come up with other options that might hit the mark better. How have you communicated to your family what you want and asked the same of them?

8. Seal the deal. Naturally, not everyone is going to be on-board with your dream and that’s ok. We all have different values, experiences and talents and as a result, we all want different things. As long as you’re clear on what you want and why you want it, you’ve convinced your toughest critic – yourself. That’s enough fuel to help you stay the course. Choose an action that symbolizes that you are all in and when ready, go for it. For us, it was purchasing the airline tickets. What action have you identified that symbolizes you are all in, with respect to your dream?  

Alison and her family left Greece, where they resided for 6 years, on July 17 to begin their trip around the world.  You can follow them on Facebook or on Instagram @AroundTheWorldWithKiddos.

Alison Goldstein, Transition & Life Coach, Website: www.alisongoldstein.com, Email: Coach@alisongoldstein.com